My Reality

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277k ratings

See, that’s what the app is perfect for.

Sounds perfect Wahhhh, I don’t wanna
noturmuse
noturmuse

I used to think when I was younger that the reason I didn't have a boyfriend was because I was too quiet or too shy or too picky or simply because I wasn't pretty enough. But none of that is the case. I've always had high standards and really high hopes and people always told me "oh you should give so and so a chance" but I never followed that advice because I knew what I wanted. I want to be loved and respected and cared for and listened to, and if you think that's too high of a standard then newsflash sweetie I don't care because I deserve better.

theposhsworld
hermajestyimher

What's the worst that could happen if you decided to stop overextending yourself to people who don't reciprocate the same energy and who don't view you on the same light? Why do you insist on holding onto those relationships where you do all the heavy lifting but receive little in return? Why do you keep people around who don't match your values, lifestyle, and outlook for life?

The fear of losing people around us who are clearly not interested in us in the same way we are in them stems from an anxious attachment thought pattern that has its roots in trauma. Learning to heal this while understanding that you are worth it and you deserve to have people around you that pour as much into you as you do them is not a luxury but a basic funding block for any healthy relationship.

Make a goal this year to establish what are your non-negotiables in the things you want and expect of those in your circle, and demote, cut, and promote accordingly. Stop compromising on things you know matter to you such as faith, similar ambition, a healthy lifestyle, maturity, etc. Just to keep people around for the sake of it. People that instead of helping you grow and show you the same appreciation that you show them, bring you down and rub their toxic ways onto you.

lovelylau
lovelylau

How to get your life together : a guide

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1) Make a list of goals you want to achieve, if you don’t you’re going to forget about them. It could be yearly goals, it could be monthly goals or both (even better). Just write them down and put them somewhere you can see them every day. Also don’t forget about the smart rule :

  • Specific (simple, sensible, significant).
  • Measurable (meaningful, motivating).
  • Achievable (agreed, attainable).
  • Relevant (reasonable, realistic and resourced, results-based).
  • Time bound (time-based, time limited, time/cost limited, timely, time-sensitive).

2) Choose habits which will lead your towards your goals. You want to be a the top of your class ? Start by actually completing your homework, assignments and by paying attention in class. You want strong and healthy hair ? Stop using heat every day and start a hair care routine. Yes, it is that simple trust me.

3) Starts adding those habits to your daily life and be realistic. For exemple, if you want to achieve your dream body start exercising and eating healthy. You want to keep those achievable and enjoyable : if you used to never step away from your couch for too long, you are not going to exercise 5 times a week right away. Start small, start with maybe twice a week and then add more when you feel ready.

4) Stop making excuses. You cannot reach your goals if you find excuses to stay home and do nothing such as « I will start on Monday » or « I am a bit tired today so I’ll just rest ». Don’t, if you really are motivated you will start right now and won’t skip your workout. The less you do, the less you wanna do.

5) Remind yourself why you wanna reach those goals and motivate yourself. You cannot solely rely on motivation, you have to create it yourself. Make vision boards of you dream life and ask yourself why you want to get out of your actual situation. If you already feel miserable and lazy in your every day life it won’t hurt to at least try, right ?

6) Enjoy the steps. That one is the most important. If you feel like completing a workout is torture, you will last a week or two tops. If doing your skin care or a daily walk feels boring, you will stop doing it. Try making those interesting by watching a movie or listening a podcast at the same time, find a workout you’re actually able to enjoy.

7) Finally : enjoy your results. If you’ve kept up the work for months, even weeks you will see them. People will start praising you about your hair, your skin… You will be able to see those changes yourself when you look at your body or at your grades. You will also be more confident because when you decide to put in the work and get results, you will be so proud of yourself I can assure you that.